Carrying Multigenerational Devastation & Not Feeling Like You Can Dream
My life has felt impossible. My dreams have felt impossible.
My intention: “To make real my creative, procreative, and professional potential.”
KM, my amazing guest for this episode, found me through a very serendipitous trail of breadcrumbs, which you’ll hear about.
We went on quite the journey! It spanned time and space, blood and soul lineages, the parentification of children to the loss of a stillborn child, and even included a “light” House Therapy session.
This episode holds magic, deep healing, and most importantly, hope.
You’ll especially want to tune into this client session if you, too have:
» been trying to figure this out for so long and feel like things have intensified recently
» been the caretaker for others (including parents) throughout your life
» experienced strange difficulties, waning energy, and painful endings
» a home with lots of windows, water, or mirrors
» experienced a stillbirth
**TW: This conversation includes mentions of a stillbirth. If you choose to listen, take gentle care.
Topics covered in this podcast episode:
The breadcrumb trail that led KM to Amy
When and why Amy combines house therapy and constellation work
What kinds of things get in the way of you fully realizing your desires
How the Tarot card reading supports the client and their constellation work session
How Amy unifies the field to connect with clients virtually
How to know when it’s a past life entanglement vs an ancestral entanglement
What it can indicate if you have a recurring image or dream
What it means when there’s a lot of technology issues during a session
What happens when children become parentified to care for their parents
How to reinstate the proper flow of life from the Big Ones to the Little Ones
Where a baby that died fits into the flow of life
What Amy looks at to prep for a house therapy session
What elements of a home can create complexity
A transcendental solution to expand space in a home with tight passages
Things you can do to welcome in more opportunities with your home
We choose our homes, and our homes choose us. Our souls have a purpose when they incarnate how, where, when, and with whom they choose.
We may not always understand things as they’re unfolding, but then something becomes so clear—just like Lilia initiating all of this for KM.
Thank you to KM for her trust and bravery. Thank you to Marigold, to Lilia, and to the ancestral field. I hope that the momentum and the potentiality unfolds with such pure magic! And thank you for being on this big journey with us.
If you’re curious about doing House Therapy with me, I have 3-month containers available. There’s also an accessible and rich House Therapy mini course available on how to create a partnership with your home.
To book your own constellation process, explore the Alchemical Constellation Gateway here.
If you’re unsure where to begin, sign up for a free Consultation Call. And if this episode resonates, please leave a review on your favorite platform and share this episode with those who you think might benefit.
Until we meet again, sending you blessings from the Doeg land that I steward.
Resources:
Connect with Amy:
The unedited podcast transcript for this episode of The Soulful Visionary Podcast follows
Amy Babish:
Have you ever felt like there's something more just waiting to be unlocked in your life? Like no matter how much you've accomplished, a deeper potential is calling. Welcome to the Soulful Visionary Podcast, where I guide you to align with your authentic self and create a life of purpose, love and lasting impact. A life where you can truly soar beyond what your mind can comprehend. I'm your host, Amy Babish, a licensed psychotherapist and an expert in somatic coaching, feng shui and wisdom traditions. With over 20 years of experience guiding thousands of clients through soul level transformation. Each week we'll dive into potent practices, live client sessions and insightful conversations to help you dissolve intergenerational patterns and transcend your upper limits so that you can live the big life you are meant to live. Tune in and let's unlock your inner wisdom together. Welcome in to the Soulful Visionary Podcast.
Amy Babish:
I'm your host, Amy Babish, and I am here with an amazing guest who serendipitously, not so serendipitously, found me. I want to welcome in KM thank.
KM:
You for having me. Yeah, I'm sort of full of excitement and anxiety, really, to be here.
Amy Babish:
Yes. And that's right on course. So KM and I spoke a little bit before recording today and I asked her for permission for her to share how she found me, because I think that's really. It's a really powerful story of just how the breadcrumb trail of life works and how spirit and our soul works a little bit.
KM:
Yeah. Gosh. I mean, looking back, it feels like I've been on this little breadcrumb trail for maybe like over a year now. So it's sort of crazy to then end up here with you. Yeah. I sort of became fascinated by Olga Naiman's work. So she's a. She calls herself a spatial alchemist.
KM:
And I had the sense like, oh, there's something here. There's something about, like, the psychological and then the material. And I just felt like I'm really onto something, but I don't know where this will lead. And then she led me to Amanda Gibbie Peters, who I then sort of started, you know, voraciously absorbing also and kind of noticing, like, gosh, there's really something here, but I don't quite know what it is. And then through Amanda, I don't even know how, but I somehow found my way to Amy. And then it's. I guess I sort of. Maybe it's a bit hard to encompass in words all the little sort of synchronicities that have made it very clear that this is where I need to be.
KM:
But yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So it was. You know, I always ask, how did you find me? And a lot of guests on the show so far have either been they've known me for over a decade or they've been referred by a colleague or a friend. And so I was sharing with KM That I had been asking for a guest who wants to come on and do house therapy with me, because we haven't had a house therapy episode in a while. And then when KM So graciously completed my very thorough intake form, I said, we might want to do a constellation first and then pepper in some house therapy. So we're going to get to some house therapy today, but we're going to work on some potent layers around constellation work first. And so km, I invite you to share your intention first.
KM:
So my intention is to make real my creative, procreative, and professional potential.
Amy Babish:
And that was so rich and potent. I'm going to ask you to say it one more time, because I take notes on this so I can kind of weave it into the constellation. I want to make sure I get it. Exactly.
KM:
Exactly as you say, to make real my creative, pro. Creative and professional potential.
Amy Babish:
This is amazing. And then, as you know, because KM Listens to the podcast, what would you say gets in the way when you go to embody or be or live out this intention?
KM:
I think it's overwhelm and also just like, I never know whether it's me or whether it's something else, but sort of like strange, kind of just strange, like, difficulties that emerge when I'm sort of like, nearly, like, getting something over the line. There's always something that sort of pops up. But also I feel like there can be like, a slight waning of energy in the final stages of, like. Yeah, making something real. Really finalizing something. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And has this always been the case? Did it start at a certain point in your life? Did it start with a move? Can you share a little bit more about that?
KM:
I feel that it's something that's been there in the past. I can think about high school, for instance, and sort of noticing, huh. Things just got a little bit, you know, something slowed down, but I wonder if it's been intensified over the past couple of years, perhaps. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Okay. And when you. When you go to have, like, the forward movement, like you're kind of talking about with your intention, do you feel like it doesn't happen or it's just not quite the wholeness that you're looking for.
KM:
I think it's just hard. Things get. And especially in the past couple of years, it's like things get kind of waylaid. There'll be a massive sort of delay or complication where I'll almost feel like, gosh, I have to start from scratch.
Amy Babish:
And would you be able to also share a little bit? I mean, you can share whatever layer of detail that you'd like that you had. You had a trauma earlier this year and that's kind of what led to some big, big shifts.
KM:
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, so. So, you know, there's a part of me that wonders, am I, you know, am I draw? Am I kind of seeing links where there are none? I don't know. But very significantly, yeah. Earlier this year, I lost my baby daughter at 33 weeks. So she was stillborn and I gave birth to her. So, you know, when you talk about not getting something over the line or not getting to literally like, enjoy the fruits of your labor, that. Yeah.
KM:
There's no more kind of potent example. Yeah. Than losing her. Liliya. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And we're gonna. You know, KM and I have spoken a little bit about Lilia and honoring her and that you really made a huge pivot when this happened and it's been really literally life changing for you. So I don't know if you want to share a little bit about. About that too, how things have. You've taken a pause in your professional career and like, really reconsidering things.
KM:
Yeah, I mean, I guess I'm. I'm fortunate enough to be able to take just time out from the real world. Really? Yeah, yeah. Everything. Everything's different. Everything? Yeah, Everything. Yeah, yeah. Just everything.
Amy Babish:
And, you know, as we kind of go into a constellation, bringing in. Bringing in, you know, your lived reality and Lilia and how things have changed. Because sometimes constellations, for some people, it's like it's never not been this way. But as you. As you named just a few minutes ago, things have become intensified for you over the past couple years, and especially since February and we're recording this in July. So.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
This is, you know, the intensity of the field. I can feel it the more that we kind of hone into. There are roots from high school and we are a couple decades in the future. And yeah, it's. It's something that you're ready to have a really different experience around.
KM:
Yeah, Gosh. I mean, I've been in the smaller, non Lilia related ways. I've been trying to sort of figure this out for so long, it seems.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we will see where we head. And my sense is, you know, whoever you're entangled with, they need. They need. They need the help too. And in some. In some episodes, I don't share the cards I pull until the end, but it feels important for me to share the card that I pulled because it kind of led me to ask you with these questions to share with our listeners. So the first card I pull is what is at the base of the entanglement for you and your systemic field.
Amy Babish:
So I don't. I don't always assume it's one person. Sometimes it's a group of people, sometimes it's a line of people. And so the card that I pulled is the Ten of Swords.
KM:
Oh, okay, there we go.
Amy Babish:
It has to be in front of me. And so the ten of Swords is. Is an intense card. It's. It's a bowl, and it has 10 swords in it. And it is. It is kind of like the endings of an endings card. And it's known.
Amy Babish:
It's known for painful, inevitable endings. And so we know that the stillbirth process was very painful. And I can hear, even before Lilia, I can imagine that the kind of endings you're talking about are not easy. And so to know that you've been entangled with someone or the systemic field in this way, it brings me to have, like, the utmost compassion. And it's important to name that with you, but also for your systemic feel that we're not going to judge or blame or shame anybody that is a part of this. So how does it land in your system when I just. When I share that card?
KM:
I guess that maybe I just see something of, like, the. Just the painfulness and kind of the darkness, really, of it mirrored back when I see that car to you.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And when we have that kind of thread of no matter what I do, I'm right before the line, and it's quite complex, and it's. It is painful. It's hard, I think, for some people to understand that. And I think that this card, the visual of this card can give some context to some of the pain that you've carried for quite some time.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And as you speak, as we speak, I'm starting to get a sensation in my left kidney. And so the left kidney, the left side of the body and the way that I'm trained is oftentimes associated with maternal lineage. So I feel like your maternal lineage is starting to come in and, like, say that we're involved in this. And I don't. We don't jump to any conclusions, but just to. Just to presence them for you and for your field and for the listeners that this might be something that has been carried for quite some time.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Is there anything else before we go into the constellation? I mean, we're already in it, but before we go more formally into it.
KM:
No. Yeah, let's go. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Okay. So we're going to begin by just taking three deep breaths together to kind of sync our fields. We're in different hemispheres in different parts of the world. And so we're just going to. We're going to unify the field that way. So inhale together. Exhale. Inhaling.
Amy Babish:
And it helps to make an audible exhale. And one last time. Inhaling and exhaling. We're going to just ask the field to tune us into your intention and to the entanglement that you've carried. And we're going to tune into it like a radio dial. And we're going to get to that specific frequency in your blood and possibly your soul lineages. And we're going to ask for an image, a visual, a sound, a. Some.
Amy Babish:
Just something concrete to let us know that we're landing in the right place. And so we'll both tune in. And whenever you get. Get an image or. Or whatever you tune into. KM, you can. Let me.
KM:
I sort of noticed feeling a bit dizzy and maybe feeling something around my chest. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Okay. And is that. Are those sensations familiar to you or are those new?
KM:
The chest is maybe more new. The dizziness may be not so new.
Amy Babish:
Okay. And it's always up to the client if they would like to hear my tune in. So it's up to you if you'd like to hear what I got, please.
KM:
Yeah, that would be great.
Amy Babish:
The field took me to a very specific place or experience. So I was with a woman who was in labor.
KM:
Wow. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And I am not in my usual office. And I'm seated in a specific way that I'm never seated this way. And they're like, we put you this way so you can really be in it with us.
KM:
Wow.
Amy Babish:
So I'm sitting with kind of like a footstall in between my knees, so it looks like I'm laboring. You can't see my whole body. Yeah. But my feet are on the floor and my knees are spread wide and my hips are open. And so I kind of was like, why did they have me sit like this? And now I know because everything's a part of this. And So I was with one woman who's laboring, and there was a group of women around her, and they let me know that they were laboring in secret.
KM:
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And so they had to. They had to hide it. And they let me know that there's something about, like, we've had to hide the power of pregnancy for a long time. So I don't know how far back we are, but it feels. It feels far. So how does this land when I share the. Share this. Tune in?
KM:
Oh, yeah. I mean, I've just. I don't know. Yeah, I'm just like. I want to keep going.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, let's keep going. Okay.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So the next step is that you're going to bring your mom's kind of like, essence behind your left shoulder. And you're going to ask her. And you're kind of. You're kind of asking her in a way that you're speaking to the heart of who she is. So not like the human that you know, but you're going to speak to. To the heart of who she is. You're going to ask her, do you carry this entanglement of, like, getting to the finish line and then having to start from scratch or, like, waning of energy or strange difficulties?
KM:
I think she's saying yes.
Amy Babish:
Okay. And then we're gonna ask you to bring your dad behind your right shoulder. You're gonna ask him if he also. A big. Yes.
KM:
Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So I had a sense that we were going to go into a past life experience, but I wasn't. You know, we don't know each other that well. And so I didn't know exactly where we had. But it's like, right. Right away your field is like, yes, we have it on both blood lineages. And when we carry something on both blood lineages, this is not like. This is not to say that I have the truth or I know more details than you do, but to kind of name it in the essence that oftentimes we choose to incarnate into these blood lineages because our soul has wanted something in the specific, like, flavor of the blood lineages, experiences. And we cannot get the antidote or the balm for it within the blood lineage.
Amy Babish:
So the way that I facilitate constellations, we're going to tune in, retune into the field and ask your soul to take us to whatever past life that this is related to, this entanglement. So we'll tune in again and you might have more clarity. It still might be somatic sensations all of it is welcome. So you're asking your soul to take both of us to the past life or this entanglement started for you.
KM:
You know, I'm so surprised that I'm not seeing images because I'm someone that sees images. So this is really, like, interesting to me. Yeah. I'm like. I'm not seeing anything.
Amy Babish:
Are you getting sensations on this?
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
What are the sensations?
KM:
I can feel the back of my throat. I mean, I have been sick, so I'm already a bit husky, but I feel almost like a heat in the back of my throat.
Amy Babish:
Yep. When I. When I tune in, I. I got something quite. You know, sometimes it's like we get different, like, piecemeal pieces. So when I tuned in, I feel like they told me that we're in the desert.
KM:
Wow.
Amy Babish:
So I'm not sure where we are. And I asked. The first thing I. I kind of got a possibility around is that we're in the Australian desert. So I don't know. I don't know if that's. Sometimes. Sometimes I'm refining things, but I.
Amy Babish:
I saw that we were kind of in the bush, and so there were. It was very barren. And so I don't. I don't know if that's just like a taste test from your soul or if that's actually where we are and you're nodding your head in agreement. So what do you. What are you noticing? As I share that.
KM:
I mean, what's coming to mind is an image that I've seen in the past. And I don't know which. Which to me had a Middle Eastern flavor, but I saw like, a woman sort of wearing, like a shroud. Like a. With her head sort of shrouded. So that's sort of my association. When you say desert, I sort of. She comes to mind.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So, yeah, we're gonna go. We're gonna go with your. Your imagery. Because many times when I do constellations with people who have very deep souls, they will not be able to explain it, but they've had a recurring image throughout their whole life. Or it might come in their dreaming life, or it might be like a flash in their waking life or when they're really tired. So it comes at all different cadences for different people. But since you've had a desert connection with this shrouded woman, we can ask your field.
Amy Babish:
Is that who's related to what we're. What you're entangled with.
KM:
Say it out loud. Is that related to what we're entangled with? Is she related to what we're entangled with. My left knee is, like, buzzing. Okay.
Amy Babish:
We're gonna say. We're gonna say yes. That's. Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna go with yes. And so I think it's important to say to her, even though she hasn't revealed herself yet to either of us, that we're here to get her some help and some relief, and even though her lived experience was probably very traumatic or very painful, she doesn't have to live in eternity this way.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And that you are living out her destiny with the shared soul in this lifetime.
KM:
We're trying to get you some help.
Amy Babish:
And what happens when you. When you share that?
KM:
Really? My phone buzzes?
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, before we got in this call, some weird, weird technology things were happening. And that's very consistent with. When we go into the systemic field. Sometimes some of the field is like, we're not going to go there, and we're going to cause interference, kind of just like, you know, during a sports game. And we're just going to say to the field that you have been carrying this for a long time, and so you can think about it as your life force is aligned with your soul's pain. And you want the flow.
Amy Babish:
You want the flow of life to go forward, and it can't go forward without disentangling the pain and the. And the loyalty that you've been carrying. What happens for you when I name it that way?
KM:
I guess because I. I was noticing there was a part of me that was feeling sort of hopeless and being like, oh, am I going to be the one that misses out again?
Amy Babish:
Oh, yeah.
KM:
So when you say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
And even. Even those words, KM, it's like those are probably that lifetime's words. Like, did she. What did she miss out on again? And that you have carried that. That. That loyalty. I'm always the one who misses out.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And that was your lived experience in that lifetime. And it's kind of frozen in time with her in that. In that space. So there's a lot of. A lot of tears. Yeah. And what do you. What do you notice as I say that.
KM:
I. I sort of feel something, like, sizzling and, like a tender way. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And so it's real. It's really important to name for her, especially in. In the field. We cannot change what happened in her lifetime, and we can't. We can't change what's happened in your lifetime up until now. This is about getting some support, getting some relief, dissolving what. What is stuck or repeating so that the flow of life can move forward and she can have peace in the afterlife and that you can have your life on your terms with hope.
KM:
Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
We'Re gonna go. We're gonna go back in and we're gonna just ask her to share with us what were the circumstances of her life.
KM:
I don't know what you were getting, but I feel like she. I have this imagining of her sort of hunching over or curling over.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, I'm getting. I get this symbol oftentimes that comes through for many different clients. So I don't think I've ever shared this on the podcast. But I. I tend to work with a lot of women from lineages, which is not. Not a surprise, where women have really had to. The ancestors or the soul lineage have barely been able to survive. And so I get a certain symbol when I tune in that is kind of reflecting back.
Amy Babish:
That kind of. It is. It is patriarchy. It is misogyny, and it's in all of our lineages. But some lineages, it's more potent, and I tend to attract people where that's a bit more potent, a bit more happening. So that symbol came through very, very clearly away. So we can. We can say to her, because sometimes the ancestors can hear us.
Amy Babish:
Sometimes they. They can hear you, but not me. But you can say to her, you. You're not going to be hurt anymore. You're not going to suffer anymore when we do this.
KM:
You're not going to be hurt anymore, and you're not going to suffer anymore. You do.
Amy Babish:
And I'm sensing that she wants to kind of build trust with us and that she doesn't. In some ways, what I'm getting is that she doesn't feel worthy of this kind of help. So. And. And in some. Some depending on how far back this lifetime is because of those lived experiences, it's almost as if it doesn't even occur to her that she could. That this is possible.
KM:
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny, I'm imagining kind of holding her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
And you can say to her in your own way, like, I have lived out your agony. I have lived out your fear. Whatever. Whatever's. Whatever is true for you.
KM:
I've lived out. There's something of how you've felt tortured or been tortured. And the word impossible, it's coming to something impossible. Something around impossibility.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. My life has felt impossible. My dreams have felt impossible.
KM:
My dreams have felt impossible, too.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the devastation of not being able to have a fulfilled dream. It feels like she could dream in some ways.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
You carry her devastation. You carry her devastation.
KM:
Yeah, I carry your devastation of not even feeling like you can dream.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Not even feel like you can't dream. Yeah. And what happens between the two of you as you start to kind of let her know that you really understand her?
KM:
I think something feels closer. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
KM:
I feel like a little bit more of, like, energy. Like it's a bit. There's a bit more of her there.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Because it felt very kind of thin. And now it feels like there's more. More density to what's happening.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So you can ask her, do you know that you're dead? Does she know? Does she know that she's dead?
KM:
Do you know that you're dead? I think so. Okay.
Amy Babish:
And you can. You can say, you know, I'm KM. I live in the year 2025, and I don't live in the desert.
KM:
I'm k. I live in the year 2025, and I don't live in the desert. In fact, I live on the water.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah. And what happens when you introduce yourself to her?
KM:
I feel warmth. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
KM:
I don't know if it's vinyl hers, but I feel warmth.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. It's probably shared. It's probably shared. And. And you can explain to her we share part of the same soul.
KM:
And Are we part of the same soul?
Amy Babish:
And I have had a big trauma happen this year, and I need your help.
KM:
I've had big trauma. Heavens here. And I need your help.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. What happens when she hears that?
KM:
I think it's. She almost feels like she's not sure if, like. Not that she wouldn't want to help, but she might not believe that she. That she could.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So you can explain to her the way that she can help is to let us know what happened to her. That's the first step. And so it might not be the helping the way that she thinks of help, but her story is what's going to help.
KM:
The way that you can help me is by. By letting us know what happened to. So she felt a little scared maybe.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And you can ask her because sometimes the. The soul fractals, the past lives are listening even as we tune in. You can ask her, did you hear. Did you hear me share about my. What happened in February?
KM:
Did you hear me share about. I want to say. Did you hear me share about Lilia?
Amy Babish:
Yes. Yeah. About Lilia? Yeah.
KM:
I'm not sure. I think my mind's getting in the way with this one.
Amy Babish:
Oh, no, no, no. This is what we. This is what everybody who does this work with me believes. What are you noticing?
KM:
I think I felt, like, a little, like, twang of pain, which maybe would indicate. Yes.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, I. I think she did. Here.
KM:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we can ask her, is the big pain that she carries, is it about childbirth or babies or getting pregnant?
KM:
I'm just going to clean my throat.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
KM:
It's a big pain that you carry about childbirth or babies or getting pregnant. I think I'm getting, like, an in between answer.
Amy Babish:
Okay.
KM:
Kind of yes, no, like, kind of not no, but not yes.
Amy Babish:
So it might be something even bigger. So we can ask her. We really want to know about the painful ending, like, the kind of like the exclamation point of what. What took her hope away.
KM:
I really. I really want to know about. About what happened with the ending that took your hope away.
Amy Babish:
What happens?
KM:
I thought I felt something big, and then I sort of felt it go away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, sort of.
Amy Babish:
It feels like just like, for you, like what you're talking about, like you're right at the. Right at the finish line, and then it doesn't make it. It feels like for her, she's showing you the energy of it, like that it just disappears.
KM:
Yeah, it's just like, poof.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, it's gone.
KM:
Yeah. Like something building, and then it sort of goes. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we can ask her, is this something like, what I'm kind of curious about, what I'm hearing kind of in the background is, was this something that she was told by her family? Like, no matter what you do things, good things are always going to leave you.
KM:
Or.
Amy Babish:
Almost like sometimes with ancestors with these. With these kind of configurations, they feel like they're bad and wrong and so they can't have good things. So we want to kind of ask her, is it something like that? Does she feel like this was her lot in life?
KM:
I want to say, do you feel like this is what you deserved? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think. I think that lands.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. And ask her, did she feel like. Was there anybody that she could ask for help in her lived life?
KM:
No.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And did she live with the family?
KM:
Not sure on that one.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, it feels. It feels like when you showed. When you showed me with your hands in the beginning, like that crunched over.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
I don't know if she would. I don't know if she was. I've had different ancestors who come through, who might Be like, stepchildren or half children or children of affairs. And so they have to be hidden. Even though there's, like, one biological parent there, they're treated almost as if they're enslaved.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So they're dehumanized. And so I kind of get that with her.
KM:
She feels like a creature in a way. Like, I know that she's not. I know that you're not a creature, but something about that. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
She was treated. She was treated as if she was not human.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we're gonna ask, was there anybody in her environment that was. Was it. Was. Was she surrounded by girls and women who are dehumanized, or was she the only one?
KM:
Were you the only one? I think no.
Amy Babish:
Okay. Yeah. And this. This also feels important. It feels like she might have been pregnant and then she lost the baby because it wasn't consensual.
KM:
Right.
Amy Babish:
And it feels like it might have been repeated.
KM:
When you say repeated, it might have.
Amy Babish:
Happened to her more than one time.
KM:
Yeah. Gosh.
Amy Babish:
What happens?
KM:
I was just saying to her, like, I'm sorry. And then I. I think I saw. I think I saw the woman around her. Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So it. It feels like part of your. Even though you didn't have that repeated in. In your lived experience, you have, like, maybe birthing a project or birthing something that you're really proud of. And then also, Lilia, you have all these things you want to birth, and they never fully can happen.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah. When they do, it's like, wow. After just, like, a completely ridiculous process, you know? Right.
Amy Babish:
It's agony to get there.
KM:
Yeah, yeah. So many twists and turns. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So you can say to her, I have lived out, like, your destiny, like, our shared experience in that lifetime. I've brought it into this lifetime, and I. I really understand.
KM:
I live something of what you went through in this lifetime, and I think I understand.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
KM:
Funny. It's like. It's like the words that come to mind is just never being able to get what I want.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
KM:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
KM:
That's what. I feel the same. It's like, I just don't. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And so I think it's time to bring in a resource, and so she might be able to bring the resource through. The woman that she's with might be able to name a resource or it might be something from your wisdom. So we're going to bring in a resource that's going to help to alchemize whatever this is. I see you starting to smile.
KM:
I have a relationship With Persephone.
Amy Babish:
Amazing.
KM:
Yeah. So that's coming to mind. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we're going to bring in Persephone and we're going to ask Persephone to give a transmission to this. This soul fractal, this past life, this woman, and to you and to all the women who are gathered around their experience of dehumanization, their devastation. They're not being able to dream a feeling of living out a life of being tortured in some way either physically, emotionally, spiritually, energetically. The feeling of I can never get what I want, and the lack of feeling like you deserve something. And the laboring and the twists and turns and the overwhelm and, like, strange difficulties, and then also not having the energy to fully finish something that you really desire. So we're going to ask Persephone to kind of give a transmission. It might be light, it might be color, it just might be energy.
KM:
I feel like it's momentum. It's like knowing that things, like, always move.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah.
KM:
You're never truly stuck. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And what happens for the woman with a shroud?
KM:
I feel, like, a bit worn. Yeah. I just feel like there's. There's just a bit more energy. Like something's a bit.
Amy Babish:
Something's unlocked.
KM:
And something kind of hopeful.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah.
KM:
Hopeful.
Amy Babish:
Yes. Yes. So Persephone can give. Give the permission. Give the invitation to this woman and her. Her peers, her cohort, her family, whatever. Whatever word she wants to use for that group of women that they can. They can leave what they've been in.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And they can move. They can take you and Persephone to a different. A different experience that is one filled with hope, with the forward movement that they have been desiring. So we can. We can see that.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we can ask. Ask them to share a little bit about where they are.
KM:
Can you share where you are?
Amy Babish:
It.
KM:
Yeah. It feels like it was a very long time ago. And in the desert, maybe the Middle east, almost, I want to say, like, Bedouin. Like, I. But I don't know if it's Bedouin, but that's just what came to mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, maybe they're. They.
KM:
What's the word? Not transit. Traveler. Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So are they traveling to a new place?
KM:
Yeah. In tents.
Amy Babish:
Yes. In beautiful. In beautiful tense and beautiful tense. So we can ask her, is there anything else she wants to share with you?
KM:
Is there anything else you want to share with me? I feel like an oasis in the desert. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Beautiful.
KM:
That's beautiful.
Amy Babish:
Is there anything else you want to say to her?
KM:
Oh, I guess I just want to say thank you and. And I hope she gets everything she wishes for. Yeah, I hope she gets to. Yeah, she can go towards the oasis, I suppose.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah, she can enjoy the oasis, Joy.
KM:
The oasis. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So the next step is to say to her, I take my soul fractal back from you.
KM:
I take my soul fractal back from you.
Amy Babish:
I see that you're the potential for you to enjoy the oasis, and I.
KM:
See the potential for you to enjoy the oasis.
Amy Babish:
I see that you're hopeful and free.
KM:
I see that you're hopeful and free.
Amy Babish:
And connected to women who matter to you.
KM:
And connected to women who matter to you.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And I'm going to take that life force and I'm going to use it to move forward with momentum in my.
KM:
Own life I'm going to take that life force and use it to move forward with momentum in my. In my own world, in my own life.
Amy Babish:
For my creative and procreative.
KM:
For my creative and procreative and professional potential. And professional potential.
Amy Babish:
So how does that land in you?
KM:
I feel sort of like peaceful joy, if that makes sense.
Amy Babish:
Yes, yes. Like contented joy.
KM:
Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
Deeper.
KM:
Yeah, It's. It's like soft rather than like super exuberant. It's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
Typically, after this, I take us. I take clients into the blood, the blood ancestral lineage. Ready to go there?
KM:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
So we're going to close our eyes and we're going to bring your parents in front of you with their lines, the maternal line behind your mom and the paternal line behind your dad. We'll bring both of those lineages there. And what do you notice when. When you're with them now?
KM:
I saw like a. Like something kind of like pulse further down my dad's line. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we're going to. We're going to say to them, this resource of Persephone is available to you.
KM:
This resource of Persephone is available to.
Amy Babish:
You with all of her wisdom. With all of her wisdom and her momentum.
KM:
And her momentum.
Amy Babish:
And those of you that want to receive, can. Receive. And those of you who don't, you can just stand aside.
KM:
Those of you who want to receive can. And those of you who don't, you're welcome to stand aside.
Amy Babish:
And Persephone can dissolve and alchemize, just like she did with the Bedouin woman and her community. And with you, she can alchemize compost, dissolve whatever has been held in the blood lineage for quite some time around, not being able to move through things to get to the finish line, to have overwhelm, to have strange difficulties, to have waning energy and very painful endings. What happens? What happens for you now?
KM:
I don't really have words. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yes. Yes. What are you noticing in the line? In both or. Either. Either. Either or line. Or both lines.
KM:
Yeah. It's interesting. I sort of saw them in front of me and I saw my mum's line is red and my dad's line is black. Almost like suits on a card set, you know, there's like red and black. Yeah. And I saw them sort of arc out to the side and then sort of going back spatially in time, sort of arcing back in. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
With your hands, you're almost like making a circle.
KM:
Yeah, kind of. Yeah, it's almost. Yeah, yeah. It's like they almost join way back, but I can't quite see it. And I guess I was trying to send energy, like, I guess all the way to the back.
Amy Babish:
We can just ask Persephone. Persephone can invite that energy wherever it needs to. To go.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Beyond what the eye can.
KM:
It's needed. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Beyond what the mind can see or comprehend.
KM:
Beyond what I could imagine or. Or. Or even know. Yeah. Wherever it's. Wherever it's needed.
Amy Babish:
And now we'll come back to your parents and so when. When both parents have held this kind of entanglement too, we'll do another. We'll do another step that hopefully will be supportive to. To you and your parents. So we'll call. We'll call your mom. You're going to face your mom and maternal lineage will be behind her still. And it's red, right?
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So just seeing that, that red line. And you can say in your own way to your mom whatever you need to say around any kind of confusion you held that. I don't really. We don't know each other this well, but sometimes clients carry the confusion that if they would have come from a different blood lineage, they wouldn't have had these experiences or if their parents were different, they wouldn't have had some of these challenges. So anything like that that you might have just vestiges of, you can say to them in your own way. I'm sorry if I put you. I kept you on the hook for any of this.
KM:
I'm sorry for blaming you so much for everything. I guess this is your pain too.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
KM:
And I guess I also want to say to my mum, like, I. I wish for things to come easier for you, for you to not have to work so hard for Everything. Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
And to say. Say to both of them and to your lineages. I chose this lineage out of love.
KM:
I chose love and devotion.
Amy Babish:
Because I know what it's like to struggle hard for things.
KM:
I know what it's like to struggle hard for things.
Amy Babish:
From that lifetime as a Bedouin woman who was enslaved.
KM:
From that lifetime as an enslaved Bedouin woman.
Amy Babish:
And what happens for your mom when she hears that from you. You.
KM:
I think she softens.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And if it's. If it feels true, you can say to her, I forgive you.
KM:
I'm. I'm trying to think of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So you can say to her, like, I'm willing to. I'm willing to let what needs to come in to heal our relationship come in.
KM:
Willing to let what needs to come in to heal our relationship to come in.
Amy Babish:
So we're just going to notice if a resource comes into your field, something for you and your mom.
KM:
I feel a little bit of green.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah. Just letting the green, of course, go to the heart chakra, the front and the back, but also the liver. So the liver consciousness carries resentment, anger, judgment, hopelessness, bitterness, and the inability to dream when it's out of balance. When it's in balance, we can hope it's also called the general. So we can kind of have Right. Relationship with emotions, and we can. We can dream, like, not just sleeping dreams, but, like, I can dream about what I want and.
Amy Babish:
And feel it coming. Coming through fully. So asking the green. The green to recalibrate whatever was between you and your mom, whatever's in the maternal lineage, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, energetically, it. What happens for you and your mom with that. With that resource you like?
KM:
I feel like I felt her sadness, but in a. Like, it was unlocked in a way that needed to be. And it was quite like a gentle sort of sadness. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Maybe like a more whole sadness.
KM:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the sadness that doesn't ask anything of me.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
KM:
It's just, you know, it's just like that's just there, and that's just hers. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. And so you can say to her, when you're ready, mom, I'm ready to take my life back from you.
KM:
I'm ready to take my life back from you.
Amy Babish:
I see that you have the resources to deal with your feelings, especially sadness.
KM:
I see that you have the resources to deal with your feelings, especially sadness.
Amy Babish:
Thank you for giving me life.
KM:
Thank you for giving me life.
Amy Babish:
I'm ready to take the momentum and move forward in a New way.
KM:
I'm ready to take the momentum and move forward in a new way.
Amy Babish:
Creatively, procreatively and professionally.
KM:
Creatively, procreatively and professionally.
Amy Babish:
Is there anything else you or your mom need to say to each other?
KM:
I feel like we're saying, like, to each other that we're sorry.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
KM:
Just in the gentle.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. Are you ready to speak with your dad?
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Okay. So you can say to your dad in his line, whatever you need to say. Like, it might not be the same as what happened with your mom. It could be the same. So if there was blame or if you kept him on the hook, anything, or you felt sorry for him.
KM:
I feel like with my dad, it's sort of something surrounding, like, feeling so sorry for him that be honest about, like, how angry and hurt I am.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can say to your dad, I tried to be the big. I tried to be the big one for you.
KM:
I tried to be.
Amy Babish:
And I've been confused about my role.
KM:
And I think it's about my role.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. And what happens when your dad hears you say that? I don't know. Yeah. So we're gonna. We're gonna bring in a resource that's gonna help however far back that confusion goes, where children become parentified and take care of their parents. However far back that goes. Because you said you saw something really far in the back kind of make.
KM:
A bleep, like, pulsing back.
Amy Babish:
So we're going to bring.
KM:
That's for sure.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
KM:
Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
We're going to go as far as. Yeah, as far back as we need to go. And we're going to ask our resource to come in, to allow the big ones to get support from the ancestors, the ones that they might come from the stars, they might come from nature. It might not be in a human form, but to get. Get the flow of life. We want the flow of life. It only goes from the ancient ones to the grandparents to the parents to the children. It can't go any other way.
Amy Babish:
So we can ask. We can ask that line to bring in. Ask your systemic field to bring in a resource to help the flow of life wherever, however far back we need to go.
KM:
Yeah, it's like it got blocked where that little blip is. And I see. I see like a pale pink.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So pale pink is Archangel Chamuel.
KM:
How do you say that?
Amy Babish:
Chamuel? It's like a sh. Yeah, it's ch. So, Chamuel, Archangel.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And the pink. The pale pink. Like, sometimes it looks like a pink Cloud Chamuel brings right relationship with love, harmony, mutually beneficial relationships.
KM:
And.
Amy Babish:
In this way, in family systems, Chamuel helps the flow of life go from the big ones to little ones.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
With support.
KM:
Yeah, I'm just sort of seeing it, it come in at that point. Yeah, yeah. Slowing down.
Amy Babish:
Like we, we can ask Chamuel to transmute whatever was confused, whatever that original hurt is. We don't have to know what it is in this moment, but whatever that hurt was that the big ones didn't feel supported by their parents or grandparents or great grandparents or ancestors. Most likely it's a collective trauma, collective experience, but it's. You've paid the price and so have many.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we just invite that pink light, pink cloud, like energy to come all the way through the line and anyone who doesn't receive, they can just step outside.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Okay. And now we're going to see if your dad's parents can step forward in a different way for your dad. So your grandparents. And if they're not available, we'll go to your great grandparents.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
But with the, with the, with the pink light, they might be able to step forward in a different way.
KM:
I can. Yeah, I can see them both. And attention to my dad's dad. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we're just going to invite your dad's dad, your grandfather, your paternal grandfather to place his hands on your dad's shoulders and he can say it in a way that both of them can understand. Like if he's able to apologize, he can apologize. And if he's not ready for that, he can say, I've got you now.
KM:
He's just saying, I'm so sorry.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah.
KM:
I'm sorry for abandoning him.
Amy Babish:
Gap. Yeah. And can your dad receive that apology?
KM:
He's a little blocked.
Amy Babish:
Okay. So we'll just ask for a little bit more pink light to come in. Because the block is also intergenerational. It probably entangled with someone else.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So we can ask Archangel Shamil to allow the block to be right sized. It's okay to. For your dad to say, like, it's going to take time for me to let this reuniting to come in, or I'm willing to try again, whatever the truth is. But it's. When it's a right size block, it's not going to be so rigid.
KM:
I just see his, his shoulders are relaxing a little bit underneath. Yeah, he's. He's receiving a little bit more. Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
Is there anything your dad wants to say to.
KM:
I feel like he wants to say, like, you're my little girl, weirdly.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he can say these are kind of alchemical phrases from constellation. Work it. And it helps both your dad and for you to hear him say this. Now I see that I'm the big one and this is my place where I belong.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Can he say that to you?
KM:
Yeah, he can say that.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And he can say. And you're the little one. Yeah. Yeah. And he can say to you if he's able to, I'm sorry you had to look for me in other relationships that were not fulfilling.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And I want to give you the blessing of being able to have healthy relationship with men. Is there anything else you want to say to your dad?
KM:
I guess I. I want to say, like, don't forget my brothers. Give them. Give. Please give them some of that. This too. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
We can invite your brothers in.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
What's. What's the birth order?
KM:
I'm the eldest. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Okay. Yeah. And so you can say I took a big hit for this for them.
KM:
I took a big hit for this.
Amy Babish:
But I'm. I'm gonna take my life back from you so that you can. You can take your place with them, too.
KM:
I'm gonna take my life back from you so that you can take your place with them, too.
Amy Babish:
They belong to you.
KM:
They belong to you.
Amy Babish:
They're the little ones, too.
KM:
They have the little ones too.
Amy Babish:
I'm giving back the responsibility of caring for. For them and caring for you to the lineage.
KM:
I'm giving back the responsibility of. Of caring for them and of caring for you to the lineage.
Amy Babish:
I can see that you're supported now.
KM:
I can see that you're support.
Amy Babish:
What happens for you.
KM:
I feel like. Yeah, I feel like I can. I can see, like, the flow. It's like visually seeing, like a family tree and then just seeing like you can. It's like. It's like sand through an hourglass. Like, you can sort of see it flow through. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
And do you feel like there's anything else you need to say to your dad or to your brothers?
KM:
I just said just that, like, I always love them.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one more layer.
KM:
Okay. Y.
Amy Babish:
We're going to invite in Lilia. Okay.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Okay. So you have your whole family behind you, the whole lineage. And you can invite Lilia, whatever. Whatever kind of essence she wants to come through to be with you now. Yeah. And what happens for you and her?
KM:
Yeah, I feel like she's like flame. Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, I just see, like, red and Red and orange. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
And so you can say whatever you need to say, because I know you've. You spent a lot of time with her before you've been on the podcast. Is there anything now that you have received some of these layers today that you'd like to say to her?
KM:
I sort of want to say that, like, I hope she knows that if she had, like, made it here to stay, that I would have, like, done, like, everything to not pass pain onto her as best I could and to, like, heal the things that are mine to heal.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah. You can say to her, I was more than willing to be the big one.
KM:
I was more than willing to be the big one. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
No matter how big your flame is, you'll be the little one in my heart.
KM:
Yeah. You'll be the little one. And I take responsibility for what's mine. Yeah. So that you could be the little one.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. I wanted the flow of life to be righted in my family system, so I was willing to make that sacrifice.
KM:
Sorry, can you say that again?
Amy Babish:
Yeah. I want. I wanted the flow of life to be righted in my family system, so I was willing to make that sacrifice between the two of us.
KM:
I wanted the flow of life to be righted within my family system, so I was willing to make that sacrifice between the two of us.
Amy Babish:
And now I can see that wasn't mine to fix.
KM:
And now I can see that love of mine to fix.
Amy Babish:
And now the flow of life from the ancestors can come from my heart to your flame.
KM:
Now the fl. Life can come from. From the ancestors can come from my heart to your flame.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. What happens?
KM:
It's funny, I feel like I want to ask you a question.
Amy Babish:
Of course you can ask.
KM:
Like, it's kind of difficult. It's sort of interesting. It's like. Yeah. Like, just thinking about the big ones and the little ones.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
KM:
So in some ways, in a really sad, fucked up kind of way, you know, I. I see and feel that Lilia, in some ways came to kind of not to heal me, but to provoke healing.
Amy Babish:
She. She was an initiator.
KM:
She was an initiator. Yeah. And I think. I think I'm. I'm trying to figure out in my mind or how to. Yeah. How to be, I guess, in Right relationship with her as a. As a little one when she's not here, you know, because in some ways, I'm like.
KM:
I'm like, have this tangle in my mind. I'm like, are you an ancestor? Because, like, you. You died before me. And you're sort of this kind of amazing. Like, you know, I know that she has this insane kind of like wisdom too, but then at the same time she's a little one as well. And I'm just trying to detangle that. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So it's like I never have the truth, but we can. A way to kind of conceptualize it is she's the little one that you gave birth to and her soul. So her soul is epic. So she, she, she's not an ancestor because she didn't come. This is like the flow of life question. So she.
KM:
Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So she can't be an ancestor. She could be a guide, an ally, a resource, a benefactor. Many people have different words for those, you know, different experience, different subtle experiences. So do any of those ways of naming, now that you have the consent, you have the felt sense experience of the flow of life comes from behind, from the back of the back of our hearts forward. So she was the forward movement and so she like from you, you just were not. You didn't have the connection from the back.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So now she's getting the full transmission within the, the blood lineage and she's a soul again.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So, yeah, you know, we, we gave her the flow of life and the blood lineage in her DNA.
KM:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
Which completed in a physical body. And now simultaneously her energy body, her soul is receiving a different transmission that maybe she asked for as a soul.
KM:
Yeah, yeah. That's so interesting because I feel like, you know, big part of my process has been like, how do I grave? How do I baby? Whilst also relating to the soul who, like, I'm not sure if her as a soul is my child. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So she's multi. She's multi dimensional.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So as, as a, as a baby that you physically gave birth to who died. She will always be a baby. And now within, within her, you gently shared her ashes with me in our kind of preview for this. So her ashes will now contain that, that life force from the ancestors, however far back it goes all the way into the ashes. The flow of life came into the ashes.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And so her physical body, she is a, she belongs to the lineage. Now before she belonged to you. I'm, I'm clear that. You were clear about that.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
But now she's found her place in the lineage.
KM:
She's like part of the family in a different.
Amy Babish:
She's part of the family. Yeah, she's part of this, she's part of this blood lineage now.
KM:
Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
And her soul can also enjoy that.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Her soul can say, I. I was a part of a blood family I didn't even know about, and now I can have it. She can enjoy it in the afterlife. Yeah. And so whatever her soul's curriculum is, she. She. She needed that too.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
She needed to be. Belong after death and what. Whatever that means in her soul curriculum. We don't.
KM:
We don't.
Amy Babish:
We don't have that blueprint.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
But it's. I can feel that that was really important that she received not just from you and your partner, which I know that you and your partner have honored her, the depths of that pathway of belonging to thousands of people.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
How does that land?
KM:
I guess it's nice to think about her, like. I want to say, like, having backup.
Amy Babish:
Yes. And she can have the dual experience of. Yes. The baby. The baby that you honored and grieved and that will be with you forever. She will be held by the ancestors, the ancestral field forever in this powerful, beautiful flow of life. And her soul is also simultaneously getting that deep holding that deep love, that deep. All the.
Amy Babish:
All of the forgiveness that happened, all of the apology, all the sincerity, all the. All of the writing of the big ones to the little ones. And as a soul, her wisdom, maybe she needed that. That piece of wisdom that she brings now into her soul path. And so you don't. You don't need. You are her teacher for that.
KM:
And.
Amy Babish:
She can be your teacher for other things.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
KM:
Is it nice to think that I've given her something?
Amy Babish:
Oh, you gave her the opportunity of a lifetime to belong not just to you and your partner, but to all four of the lineages.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So how are you feeling? KM this is a big. A big journey. Yeah.
KM:
But do you know what, though? Like, it. It feels. Yeah. There's something, like, really gentle about it as well, you know, Like, I don't. I don't feel overwhelmed. I feel like. Okay. You know, this is.
KM:
This is like the right dose for me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously it'll take a little while just to kind of sift through my mind and digest and integrate, but for now, I'm sort of like, okay. Yeah, that. That feels. That feels good. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
I feel like. I just feel like the depths of what we traveled through. The intellectual mind might be like, journeying with some things, and I can feel like the emotional body and the physical body and the spiritual body are receiving in a place that doesn't have words.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Amy Babish:
So we just had. We just have a Divine interference happening here. And I. And I readjusted so that KM can hear me better and hopefully the listeners can hear me better. I have. I have some sanding happening in my house, which was not planned for, but this is. This is. It feels like a metaphor for polishing the surface of what has been getting.
Amy Babish:
Getting. Getting the attention in. In the field for a long time.
KM:
Yeah, I suppose sanding, it's like. Well, it comes before painting, but it's when you think of, like, sanding it, you know, like something that you've carved, it's like the last step. It's like the refining of the surface.
Amy Babish:
It's the refining, yeah. And I. I feel like, you know, what caused. What was the cause for the sanding in my house was. My house was flipped and I didn't realize that the people who did the flipping, they didn't put a skim coat, that's what we call it in America, the skim coat on the walls. So I went to clean the walls of my office because I smoke, I smudge often and I do a lot of candles, so there's a lot of smoke. And when I did that with good intentions, it looks like I did a lime wash of smudging everywhere. So they are redoing it with lots of love and TLC in a way that's not my skill set.
Amy Babish:
So I feel that metaphor that's happening during our recording is oftentimes in our family systems. They come with good intentions and they come with as much love as they possibly can. And then the places that were omitted or confused or in this, in your experience where you had to become the big one when you were the little one, not only for your dad, but for your brothers, I can hear that those become really like disconnected and painful spots in our lived life, our lived experience. And then also when we're very, in a very complex way entangled with another past life that was very, very painful. That's like a double. A double whammy of. There's so many rough edges. It's like.
Amy Babish:
It's hard to know. It's like the world becomes hard to navigate and it feels like it's never going to smooth out, it's never going to ease out. And so that we're getting to this, like, really refined properly, like you have a second skin now from this that you'll be able to navigate life, I feel, in a different way where you don't need the experiences of the Bedouin woman or the confused full of life coming at you so directly that like, you have to work so hard for things that it's always going to be hard earned. I don't think you're going to have those experiences anymore.
KM:
I mean, that would be amazing. I mean, it's interesting. It's not exact, but in my astrological chart, I have a cardinal grand cross, so it's a giant square. And it's like sort of this experience of having to do everything at once. And I wonder if, in a way, I feel like I'm having to do or like, you know, I'm living these kind of complex things from multiple different lineages simultaneously. And it's like I'm so overwhelmed by these different things that are happening at the same time. It's. It's really hard to kind of move.
Amy Babish:
Forward, and it's hard to find what your fault four walls are. So if you were. If you are constantly having to use your energy to take care of the Bedouin woman, to take care of your dad, to take care of your brothers, and then to take care of whatever little energy you had left for yourself in your own life, no wonder you were overwhelmed. So. So it's like now that the flow of life is coming fully through the blood lineage and that you have more of your soul back, it's gonna feel like now you feel your four walls. Like the sides of your body, the front and back of your body, your feet, the top of your head. Like your physical body is going to probably feel more like you.
KM:
Like it's full. It's mine as well.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. This. This is yours. And you're not. You're not outsourcing. Like. Like a really, like, wild. Like, you know, when you go to a plug that has like 10 things, 10 outlets of plugs, you know, it's like overloaded.
Amy Babish:
Like, you've been. You've been.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
All the cords have been plugged into other people and other things that you. Some, Some. Some of it you consciously knew, but some of it was so deep and so complex, you didn't know.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So the retractable cords all came back. They're all with you, all of your. Your energies with you. And so this. This will be a big integration process for you. And I know we said we were going to do some house therapy, but I feel like this was a very potent and deep layer. But I want to check in with you because, you know, we never know where things are going to head in our sessions, but I want to just check in with you.
KM:
Oh. I mean, it's funny. I sort of. I'm like I have more in the tank, but I don't want to be greedy.
Amy Babish:
We can. We can go. We can go a little bit. A little bit.
KM:
We'll go.
Amy Babish:
We'll do. We'll do a light layer. We'll do a light layer.
KM:
Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So when, you know, when I do house therapy, I get. This is for the listeners. I get the address I get. I look on a zoom. I look on a Google map, if possible. I'm looking at what's surrounding a home. I'm looking at how the energy, just like we talked about, the flow of life and constellations. I'm looking at the flow of energy through a house and with what the surrounding landscape is.
Amy Babish:
And so a lot of people get really confused that house therapy and feng shui is just like the bagua or moving furniture. And sometimes I do ask people to do those things, but there are. There are so many other factors at play. And so in your home cam, the biggest factor of play is water.
KM:
Yeah, yeah, water.
Amy Babish:
So to kind of give the listeners a little bit of context, you live on a bay. Is that. Would you call it a bay?
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Or is it the ocean?
KM:
It's. It's in a harbor, I suppose, but. Yeah, yeah, but it's not fully exposed to the ocean.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, but it's. It's. It has ocean water in it. Just. Just so they're clear. It's not a. It's not a lake bay. It's not a river.
Amy Babish:
It's. It's. It's a massive ocean.
KM:
It is.
Amy Babish:
And so that's one big factor we'll talk about. And the other factor is magically, right. Right before we started recording our podcast, km, they used to. She and her partner used to rent out the home to Airbnb. And there was a lock on the door. And right before we started recording, they were able to get the Airbnb lock off the door. So we both kind of said that, like, that is. That is house therapy, feng shui at its prime.
Amy Babish:
Talking about unlocking potential. It started right before, like, everything is always in the field. So when we come into your home, you have what we call a recess door. And so the recessed door, it's hard for energy to get in. And then also in the configuration of the home, there's a narrow hallway, and so that is also a challenge. And then your bedroom is below. It's in the lower floor, and it's a narrow stairwell to get down to your bedroom. So I think we'll kind of talk about the flow of energy first.
Amy Babish:
And then we'll talk about the water. Second. There are many, many layers. So this, this is like a. We sometimes do cappuccino constellations. This is a cappuccino house therapy conversation. So just to kind of give. Give some, give some pieces.
Amy Babish:
So when there are no. There are no perfect homes, when we have constriction, it is like, it would be like for us. So our home is like a body. It's like a physical body, like a human body. So it would be like, for us that you won't be able to. You would be taking in energy, like, not, not from a straw, but like your throat would be constricted, and then maybe your upper GI would be constricted. So it's. It's not that cans.
Amy Babish:
Whole home is this narrow bit, but there are narrowing bits throughout it. And so when we look at it, when I look at a home, sometimes we think we think about it as chakras, sometimes we can think about it as organs, but there, there are. The energy flow gets really squeezed when we're in the home. And then getting through the front door is also complicated because you have a glass front door. So in. Yeah, KM's home is like an Architectural Digest dream come true and a realtor's dream come true. And there's a lot of windows and a lot of mirrors and a lot of water. And so those create a lot of.
Amy Babish:
A lot of complex factors. And so, you know, we want to be as compassionate as possible when we talk about house therapy because it's your home and you love it and you live there. So it's. It's not that they're. There's anything wrong with your home. There's just. There's a number of challenges. And one of the things I told KM when she sent me all of her photos and videos, I asked for a lot of information before I do an assessment.
Amy Babish:
I told her that I would. I would talk with my mentor, Amanda Gibby Peters, about is there anything in this home related to stillbirths? And so the first thing she asked me was, are there constricted spaces? Because in house therapy, I'm in an advanced house therapy practice. So Amanda has level one, level two house therapy, and I'm in kind of like an advanced inner circle, so she doesn't talk about these things even in house therapy. So I didn't have any notes on it. And there were many, many health challenges that come from constricted having constricted spaces. They don't necessarily correlate to stillbirth, but one of the things I'm going to recommend for you in your home, like we're going to decrease the mirrors in many places, but along the constricted hallways you can use mirrors transcendentally. And we don't want to overdo it, but you want to. We would use two small mirrors and they can be.
Amy Babish:
I'm not good with millimeters, but here they're, they're three inches. So it's, it's like K.M. can see my, my hand. I don't know what that would be in millimeters, but it's small. It's like a, it's a cosmetic mirror. It's, it's quite small. So I would say we would start with the first floor where it narrows in first. And you can put two 3 inch mirrors up facing each other.
Amy Babish:
And I don't know if you want me to share the name of your home or to keep it confidential, but I'm happy to just say your home. But you have your home's name.
KM:
Marigold. Marigold.
Amy Babish:
So you're gonna, you're gonna talk to Marigold. And when you put the mirrors up, they can, these can be hidden because we're using them transcendentally. You could put them behind a piece of like artwork that faces each other, but they want to physically face each other. And you're going to ask Marigold to transcendentally grow the space. So it's like we're opening energetically the space so that more energy can flow through the first floor. And then the second place, there's, there's a bit more of a complicated challenge because going to your bedroom, you're, you're experimenting with having a blanket that helps you to have more of a boundary. So you have a narrow stairwell with one wall and then an open space that's a stairwell. And so with a bedroom, it's always helpful to have a door.
Amy Babish:
And so I know that that's not possible. You're very creative. And so this is where the creativity that you innately have is going to be amazing. But for those people listening who do not have a door on their bedroom, in KM space this would not work. But in other people's spaces they could use like a dressing room screen. That's very beautiful. That would not work for you. No, but, but so I want to invite you to think of like at the base of the stairs, at the bottom, close to your bed, to think about having something there and then also having something on the other side.
Amy Babish:
And this will take some. KM also showed me her, her Sewing machine. So I know she sews. So this is also going to come in handy. So one idea is that you could possibly sew a mirror onto some fabric on the right side. I don't know if that's the right side. I'm dyslexic. But the part of the going down the stairs is the open side, the right size or the left side?
KM:
The right side going down. Yes. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So you would put the fabric there and then you'd have in the middle a three inch mirror again. And then on other side you could have some artwork. But we want to ask the space to expand there because the bedroom is. Represents us. It represents our ourself, our identity, our. Our beingness. And so we want more energy coming down into the bedroom, but we want it to be able to be kind of cozy in there. So that's.
Amy Babish:
We want the energy to go down and then whatever you're going to choose to put in the front, like we don't want more water. But what I saw kind of in my. When I sat and meditated on your home. Marigold seems very vibrant and so she might want. And I. My daughter's Japanese, so I have a lot of Japanese references. In Japanese culture you can have the cotton curtains that open. Like you see them at sushi restaurants sometimes, but you can make a modification of that.
Amy Babish:
But she also showed me that she likes like bamboo beads with paintings on them. So you know that you might have seen like in the, in the, you know, 90s that were really popular.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
We don't want, we don't want to. Those feel kind of watery. But the, the fabric, you could do something that's not watery. Not watery image. But just getting that flow, that flow of energy down to your bedroom will be life changing for you and your partner and for whatever, like whatever you. The potential you want to build.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Creative, procreative or professional, it will be able to kind of build in your. In your bedroom. So that that flow of energy into Marigold is going to be super important. So that would be my first one, the second one, the second one. Related. We're going to start from the front door and then the back. So your front door, it's recessed a little bit and it's glass. Glass.
Amy Babish:
So yes, glass front door is like anytime we have glass, it's aligned in daoism with the element of water. And so you have an immense amount of water in your home and then outside of your home. And we talked about this a little bit beforehand, but this is going to Help you to know just how much water you have. So there again, if. If you were able to get a solid front door, that would be my first recommendation. And I know that's a big financial investment. So if that's not in the cards, because there are many other priorities, I would recommend that you. You make a beautiful, like, again, fabric panel that you.
Amy Babish:
You are able to. You can either. Even blinds feel like it's going to be too much movement coming in. We want to really create the feeling of something being solid. And when you. This will be a transcendental cure. So you talk to Marigold about. We want this to be a solid door because we want all the good coming into the house to stay in the house versus the good coming in with the water and out with the water like the tide.
Amy Babish:
That's what. That's part of what's happening with the home too.
KM:
Yeah. Can I ask, would a. You can get sort of like adhesive that is, you know, almost creates the appearance of like, frosted glass. Would that be appropriate? Because that would still let a bit of light in your head.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, it's.
KM:
It.
Amy Babish:
Because. Because. Because the front door is a boundary and we want. We want the energy to pool. That's. That's where it's like a solid. Like a solid front door is really best. So in some homes, they have a glass panel and it's mostly solid, and your.
Amy Babish:
Yours is mostly glass with a. A border around the glass. And so it could be that when you're home, if you have something like on a. I know you can make like a tight curtain rod that's like almost skin tight to the. To the. To the glass that you could push it to the side so that the light can come in while you're home. But especially at night, you want to close it.
KM:
Yeah. Loud and clear. I can see it already. I feel like it's just like really actually gorgeous heavy curtain that you sort of, you know, in a kind of sensual way can sort of like move to the side. That would be. Yeah. Because one thing I notice is that if I'm heading out of the house, sometimes I feel a bit exposed, actually approaching my front door because it's like I'm hit with, you know, the neighbors or the street, like, quite immediately. I don't have that kind of moment to gather myself.
KM:
Yes. Or heading out. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And that vulnerability is like being naked in water. Like if we were going skinny and dipping because it's our choice. That's awesome. But every day feeling like I'm that vulnerable Because I'm like, even though you have clothes on, it's that level of vulnerability because you're in that much water.
KM:
Yeah, that makes so much sense, Amy. Yes.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So that one. And then also you have this beautiful little courtyard. You want to have kind of all the energy pointing towards the front door. And so this might be like getting plants that kind of draw the energy to the front door. Having maybe a bright and bold welcome mat. And then at night, I didn't get night pictures, but at night, you would want to have some kind of uplighting towards the front of the house, towards the front door. Like, this is the breadcrumb trail to the front door.
Amy Babish:
All of those things are going to bring less overwhelm, more safety, and more energy that's right outside your front door. So then when you do come in the front door, more energy, More good energy is coming in, and it's staying in the house when you. When you close the curtain at the end of the day. So. So that will. That will be immensely helpful. And then we're going to go to. To the back.
Amy Babish:
So you have beautiful views. Beautiful views. It's so beautiful. It's a realtor's dream come true. And the energy is pouring out, especially in the bedroom, and then on the backside in the front or in the backside on the first floor, rather. So there it's not the front door, so it doesn't need to be solid. But having some kind of blinds that you can take down every night that feel solid, that's very, very, very important. And no matter where people live, they don't have to live in a beautiful view like am.
Amy Babish:
But especially the bigger the windows, the more that energy is leaking out. And the element of water is associated with emotions and money.
KM:
Yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
And so, like, the overwhelm that you're feeling also is because you have so many exposed surfaces that open up to the big sea. And the sea is also water, so it's also emotions and money. So we want to. We want to reinforce the boundaries with the windows. And then with having, like, the big. The big bay, the big harbor behind you, you want to have things that are going to be like telling the energy and telling Marigold, the energy stays with us. The energy doesn't go up to sea. So this.
Amy Babish:
This would be like. This is not your flavor, but something as big as, like a flagpole, something that's undeniable, a flagpole, because that's something that would get the intent, the attention from people, from boats on the sea and the ocean itself. It's like that. That draws the energy towards your house. We want the energy coming towards you and your partner and towards Marigold.
KM:
Right. Coming in right now.
Amy Babish:
Now it's all going out. And so the more like we. With. With Taoism, we want to think equal and opposite yin and yang. So this is like, we need to counterbalance the massive yin that your house is in.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Your house is in so much yin. And when yin is balanced, it's awesome. We can receive, but when yin is like excess, it is. We lose opportunities, and it just kind of goes out to the sea. And. And that was already your pattern before you came to this house. And so this house is like, we. We choose the house.
Amy Babish:
Like, we choose relationships. It's here to give us gifts and lessons. And so Marigold. Marigold means this just as much as you do.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And I don't know if your partner needs these things. He might need different things from Marigold, so. But definitely, like, the bigger. The bigger and more eye catching the gestures on the back porch, getting the energy coming towards the house, the less challenging things are going to be.
KM:
Yeah. Okay. That's something to really think about. Yeah. What, like, fabulous, dramatic kind of gesture. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
KM:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And you had mentioned that the previous owners were big, avid gardeners, and so I think part of it is that they intuitively knew they had to. We. Sometimes we don't have to know anything about feng shui, but we intuitively know the plants would absorb the water.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Just.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Like, science wise, but also energetically, they were a buffer. And so now we have. You and your partner did come up with your. Your flavor, and you're. You're talking about native plants would be great, but we need something even more than native plants to help you to really keep the energy in. And so this is where it's, like, you get to have your flavor, your taste, your aesthetic. And we want it to be like. We talked a little bit about bringing more of the fire element in, so it might be painting boulders or getting boulders of a different color.
Amy Babish:
Like, we want it. We want it to be. Be really bringing in counterbalancing things.
KM:
And can I just check. Is that on the. On the. So we have the deck, and then we have the, like, the ground level.
Amy Babish:
So on the ground level. Yeah, so on the ground level, you want to have. You don't have to do the flag pole, but you want to have that level of gesture and that level level of counterbalancing. And then on the deck, you still want to have more counterbalancing so that the energy is coming back towards Marigold and towards you guys.
KM:
Yeah, yeah. Okay. That sounds like a really fun creative challenge, an opportunity to be, like, a bit extra and. Yeah, yeah. Wow.
Amy Babish:
And when Marigold has more of these boundaries in, just like you talked about in your chart, Marigold will help hold you.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
You won't have to keep on using your energy to hold Marigold.
KM:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the thing, right? It's. It's sort of. There's so much efforting unnecessarily. Perhaps if we nurture Marigold in this way, we can sort of be held.
Amy Babish:
Yes. Yeah. When we invest in our homes, they invest back in us times, you know, infinite, infinitely. And when we're not conscious of this, of the soup that we're swimming in, it can be, like, very overwhelming very quickly.
KM:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Especially when that much water is involved.
KM:
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So much overwhelm. It's just like you're just sort of splashing around, being like, what direction do I even go in? Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So we're gonna, like, dam up the water with healthy boundaries and with color and with some grand gestures, and that's going to be, like, a really good kind of canvas to start reworking things with for Marigold, for you, your partner, for your intention. And I think you'll begin to see a lot of. A lot of shifts just from some small changes. And Marigold will begin to talk to you in a way that she's going to let you know more of what she needs.
KM:
She'll speak back to us and guide us. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
We've been. We've been on quite a. We've been on quite a journey. KM, do you have any thoughts, any reflection, any reflections, any questions before we close up?
KM:
I just want to thank you. I mean, it's. You're just so immensely, immensely generous. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing, really.
Amy Babish:
Thank you for your trust. Thank you for your bravery. Thank you to Marigold. Thank you to your partner. Thank you to Lilia. Thank you to your ancestral field, your soul field. And I hope that the momentum and the potentiality just really unfolds with such. Just pure.
Amy Babish:
Pure magic is what I'm hearing.
KM:
Yeah. I'm here for the magic, and I feel it today with you in the way that you've sort of woven so many threads together for me. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Well, thank you. And to those of you who are listening, thank you for being on this big, big journey across time and space, up across hemispheres, across soul timelines and through really complex landscapes today and through waters. And if you are curious about doing health therapy with me, I have three month containers available. I also have a mini course that is available. It's how to create a partnership with your home. And if you're interested in Constellation, work with me. I have a three session package that is two hour sessions.
Amy Babish:
Three two hour sessions with me and you can find that information on my website and the links below. And until we meet again, sending you blessings from the doeg land that I steward. Thank you. That's all for this episode of the Soulful Visionary Podcast. If you found value in today's episode and are ready to delve deeper into aligning your inner world and environment, please subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Your subscription helps us to reach more soulful visionaries like yourself, and if you've been inspired by what you heard, I'd be incredibly grateful if you could leave a review. Your feedback not only helps others discover this podcast, but also guides me in creating content that truly resonates with you. I'll catch you in the next episode as we continue to unlock the love, purpose and fulfillment you deeply crave.