Having a background as both a life coach and licensed therapist for over 20 years, I’m excited to unpack the differences between a life coach and a therapist, and when to see each. In this time of building complexity, many people are experiencing compounding overwhelm. It can be challenging to know what kind of support to pursue. There are many misconceptions, myths, and outdated or conflicting information in the life coach vs. therapist discussion on both sides among professionals, clients, and google alike. My intention for this article is to clarify the differences, to be of service, and to offer no BS insights.

Definitions Of Life Coach Vs. Therapist

What’s A Life Coach?

The International Coaching Federation (ICF), one of the leading coach certification organizations, defines coaching as "partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential." A life coach is a non-healthcare professional. Life coaches can be trained, credentialed, have both, or neither (more on the shadow side of coaching later in this article). No degree is required for coaching.

What Makes Someone A Skilled Coach?

There are many highly skilled and trained life coaches, relationship coaches, intimacy coaches, career coaches, business coaches, executive coaches, leadership coaches, NLP coaches, enneagram coaches, somatic coaches, and spiritual coaches.  These coaches name their training(s), credentials, as well as past coaches and mentors, which allows potential clients to discern if someone is only using their personal experience to coach. 

These trained coaches are more likely to be aware of their scope of practice and the boundaries of their skillset. They are clear when they need to partner with a therapist or refer to a more skilled coach or therapist.

Some second-career coaches transparently share their original post-graduate degree unrelated to coaching on their bio transparently (e.g., Ph.D. in Women’s Studies or Economics). These coaches can share how their previous careers can give them a relevant experience that prepared them for coaching. 

Coaches are also able to market with testimonials, which therapists cannot.  When looking for a coach, testimonials are one of the ways to look at their work with clients. 

Life coaching services can be provided as a one-time session or offered in a package. Life coaching services can be private 1:1 coaching or group coaching, programs, or masterminds in person or virtually. Life coaching sessions can focus on a variety of topics, and vary based on the professional.

Outdated Differences Between Coaches And Therapists

Many sources differentiate coaching from therapy in that life coaches focus on the present moment and are action-oriented. They state that coaches actively listen, have client consent, and seek client cooperation. These articles also note that life coaching supports clients to take charge of their lives and move forward and is short-term work. Many therapists' training includes these skill sets and ways of working with clients too.

What’s A Therapist?

Therapists provide psychotherapy, a clinical-based approach to treating mental health issues that are listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). A therapist is a healthcare professional with at least a master’s degree in a mental health field (e.g., social work, art therapy, or family therapy) and has passed the licensing exam. Licenses are regulated by each state. To be eligible for licensure, each state requires on average 1,500-4,000 post-graduate client contact hours with supervision by a licensed therapist. Therapists can be also known as a counselor, art therapists, social workers, psychologists, or psychotherapists, depending on their graduate training.

Outdated Descriptions Of Therapy

Contrary to what most articles might indicate, the only therapy model that focuses solely on the past or analyzing problems is psychoanalysis (where you may even be invited to lay on the couch). The only time a therapist would see a client without their consent is when a client has been under extreme circumstances where a judge orders involuntary commitment to a psychiatric unit or hospital.

Traditionally, therapy was stigmatized because it was a service to treat mental health conditions, and psychoanalysis was a service for affluent white-bodied people to lay on the couch and talk through their problems and patterns. Later, mental health professionals shifted to talk therapy as a more accessible way to support people with mental health problems, mental health issues, mental illness, and diagnosable mental health disorders.

Most Skilled Trauma-Informed Therapists Don’t Offer Talk Therapy

Many post-modern therapy models don’t rely on talking, including couples therapy. The focus is on the body with somatic therapies. Trauma-informed therapists and coaches know that talk therapy isn’t effective for resolving trauma or attachment patterns.

Anti-racist And Anti-oppressive Therapy

If you are BIPOC or LBTIQIA, make sure that you are working with a therapist who is skilled at understanding that racism and oppression are forms of trauma.  A therapist that treats you with dignity and respect is foundational, and your therapist should be trauma-informed and somatically skilled to support the nuances of healing from the experience of living in white supremacy and heteronormatively. 

Delivery Of Therapy Services

Therapists can be generalists or specialists. Just like not all doctors have a great bedside manner or are up-to-date with best practices, therapists can fall into this too. It is important to find the best match with a skilled therapist who has up-to-date tools and resources.

Therapists see clients 1:1 or in group therapy. In the sessions, depending on the client and therapist, the focus can be on symptom reduction, skill building, or life, work, or relationship goals. With the pandemic, a whole new world has opened for therapy, many mental health professionals offer virtual therapy.

When to Seek Out A Life Coach Vs. A Therapist?

When To See A Therapist

If you have an untreated mental health condition, diagnosis, personality disorder, or struggle with feeling stable or functional, start with a licensed therapist. In these instances, the first phase of therapy focuses on symptom management, creating safety, and stabilization. 

If you have mental health challenges that impair your everyday functioning or persistently impact your ability to move forward, therapy is a solid place to start. Seek out a therapist who specializes in your mental health condition, rather than seeing a generalist. Request an exploratory call to see if you are a good match.

Trauma Therapist Vs. Trauma-Informed Professionals

Many therapists and coaches use the term trauma-informed, which indicates an awareness of trauma, but they may not be trauma experts. If you have a history of trauma, PTSD, or C-PTSD, find a somatic psychotherapist, who has training in somatic experiencing, sensory-motor psychotherapy, or Polyvagal Theory with Deb Dana’s model. Talk therapy isn’t effective for trauma resolution.

Paid Promotion In Selecting A Life Coach Vs. A Therapist

Forbes Coaches Council, Yahoo News Top 10 Lists, Goss Magazine, and The Washingtonian List of Top Therapists and Psychiatrists are forms of paid promotion. While there is nothing right or wrong about paid PR, when paid PR isn’t transparent, confusion is created for potential clients.

When you aren’t able to get a referral from a trusted friend or human, many potential clients rely on google for recommendations for their therapist or life coach. The difference between transparent paid ads on Instagram or Facebook, clients are choosing to click on the form knowing exactly what it is (a paid advertisement).

However, with the non-transparent paid PR articles or features, potential clients place trust in more well-established publications in which coaching or therapy lists are created. These non-transparent paid advertisements for coaching and therapy imply assumptions based on the brand awareness and nature of the publications being credible and established (i.e., they used standards or a vetting process to select the therapists and life coaches).

How Personal Work For Therapists and Life Coaches Impacts the Client Relationship

The therapist or life coach you are paying should treat you with dignity and respect and create safety for your personal work. Whether you’re working with a life coach or a therapist, and they’re hitting a wall with you, it’s time to get curious. 

No professional can take you deeper than they’ve gone themselves with their own personal work. If there is a pattern of your life coach or therapist being triggered by you, it may be time to look for different support.  If your therapist or life coach uses disrespect, shame, guilt, gaslighting, or bullying with you, this is not about you.  This is another instance to look for support from a more skilled and experienced trauma-informed professional. 

When Is It Time To End Therapy And Consider Life Coaching?

If you are stable and functional and you don’t see yourself making progress in therapy, it may be time to consider life coaching.  Some therapy clients have maximized the benefit of therapy. It can feel like reaching a point of diminishing returns. 

In some cases, clients hold a kindredness for their therapist and don’t want to end because they like their therapist.

If you’re ready for more and are stable, and therapy isn’t facilitating that process for you, this is a prime time to consider life coaching. Schedule exploratory calls with potential coaches to learn more about how they would support you in your goals and process. 

When Therapy Clients May Actually Make More Progress With A Life Coach

Depending on the skill set and expertise of the life coach, clients can make a massive change, transformation, and forward movement in their lives, work, relationships, and impact on the world.

You know that you’re being called to coaching when you want more than you have:  

• A vague feeling that you can’t specify, but in your gut you know, there’s got to be more

• A journey of finding out who you really are and what sparks and sustains aliveness

• A bigger life with more depth, meaning, and richness

• True connection and belonging as authentic you

• A bigger love with healthy vibrant intimacy, possibly even toe-curling romance 

• A career change that may have nothing to do with your degree

• A longing for bigger career opportunities

• A bigger impact and the compounded ripple effect in The Collective, a legacy 

• A guide who will deeply listen and challenge you with dignity and respect

A skilled professional will help you to create experiences. A potent life coach will ask questions to allow you to integrate experiences and create what feels impossible.

Coaching Attracts Clients Who Are Fully Invested And Want To Move Forward

The more the coaching clients invest in the process (not just money), the less support and reinforcement they need. I’m drawn to work with people who are ALL IN.  When clients invest in high-level coaching with me, they want to be on the cause side of life, rather than the effect side of life. 

High-level coaching with me provokes counterintuitive thoughts, insights, and solutions. I support clients to create goals as their “come from” place not their destination. I help clients to get strategic and cultivate comeback strategies for times when they bail and fail.  This kind of coaching can be a blast and also invites the client to do their work inside and outside of coaching calls.  It isn’t for the faint of heart, and nothing’s off of the table.  

Fees: Life Coach Vs. Therapist

Fees are on a large continuum based on experience, expertise, niche, outcomes, and location for both therapists and coaches. If you google life coaching fees, they’re citing an average of $120-$200 per individual session. In Washington, DC, individual therapy sessions usually cost more than this rate. Some coaches only see a few private clients and their rates can range from $100,000 to $300,000 and beyond. Many coaches offer a one-time session, and thereafter, they offer coaching packages. Most coaches require payment upfront.

Push Back Around Coaching Pricing

When clients tell me that my packages are too expensive, I honor their objections. Not everyone is ready to work with me at this depth. I don’t gaslight them or try to handle their objections. I graciously accept their NO.

Coaching Budget?

I rarely met people with a coaching budget.  After potential clients have a coaching experience with me, they often are motivated to create the resources to be able to work with me.  I’m honored to be on their vision boards or as goals for the next year or a few years. 

Therapy, Coaching, Out-of-Network Insurance, And Tax Write Off

If you have insurance with out-of-network benefits, you may be able to use it for therapy. If you’re using your coaching to support your business as an entrepreneur or with leadership in your position within a company, I recommend that clients discuss writing off coaching on their taxes with their accountant.

The Shadow Side Of Coaching

Some coaches have no training or mentoring in coaching. These coaches have experienced their own personal, emotional, spiritual, or sexual transformation. They coach clients from the lessons of their own personal transformation stories and lived experiences.

While many skilled professionals share personal antidotes in service of their clients, they don’t solely rely on personal prescriptions for client transformation.

The danger of coaching clients only from personal antidotes is that people are complex. There are no one-size fits all approach. What works for one person denies the nuances and complexities of what most people bring to the coaching relationship and their human experience. When untrained coaches exclusively teach their personal approaches, they imply a one-size-fits-all message (e.g., it worked for me, and it can work for you).

Ethical coaching practices aren’t intuitive because we all bring our own baggage to human relationships. To create safety and transparency, ethics are a cornerstone of every coach certification program. Self-taught coaches can unintentionally cross boundaries even with good intentions to do no harm due to their lack of training. This can create confusing power dynamics, manipulation, control, or gaslighting from coach to client.

Pro Tip: Torn Between Choosing A Therapist And A Coach

If you can’t decide between a life coach and a therapist, give yourself permission to take your time and do your due diligence. From your values, goals, and budget for this personal work, explore their education, training, skillset, outcomes, life experience, personality, and fees. Schedule exploratory calls to explore the connection and see how you might work together. 

Whether as a therapist or coach, I only work with clients privately and in groups, who are the best fit for the work that I’m offering.  Integrity has always been a core value in my life and business. 

When I worked primarily as a therapist for over 20 years, I would tell prospective therapy clients that they know what is best for them in terms of a match with a professional.  Now as a coach, when a prospective client is inquiring about coaching, if they truly would be better served with therapy, I refer out before beginning our coaching together. I also offer free (non-sales) coaching calls to be of service and give prospective clients a coaching experience of working with me.

I’m not here to tell people what to do or believe. My work supports people to live the life they came to live and create a bigger life, love, work, and impact than they could have ever imagined. I invite clients to take their time to discern if we’re a match now and in the future (because they know where to find me). Whether you are currently getting support from a therapist or life coach or this is your first time seeking support, trust your gut and intuition. You deserve the best professional match to support you in the life you came to live.  I would love to hear from you in the comments.

Love,

Amy